Unreleased 'DaVinci Code' Breaks $100M
Written by IRNewz Monday, 15 May 2006 09:22
"People are just coming up to box office windows basically throwing fistfulls of cash at the cashiers," said John Drake, Sony Pictures' Vice President of Production. "I don't think this has ever happened before in the history of film. In fact, it's made us re-think releasing the picture at all, maybe just going right to DVD or something. We're so flustered, frankly, we don't know how to respond.""I want his problems," said director Ron Underwood, director of box-office mega-flop "The Adventures of Pluto Nash," starring Eddie Murphy. "Excuse me, I need to vomit," he continued, and then left the restaurant quickly.
The loot has added up fast: studio estimates place the current box office draw at just over $100 million, a staggering figure without having a movie actually released.
Author Dan Brown is, obviously, ecstatic beyond belief. During our interview, the author was only able to babble, clap his hands in joyous ecstacy and blow his nose with $1,000 bills.
Author Dan Brown is, obviously, ecstatic beyond belief. During our interview, the author was only able to babble, clap his hands in joyous ecstacy and blow his nose with $1,000 bills.
Wall Street reacted instantly by racing around the room making "choo-choo" noises before going up over 560 points, pushing shares of Sony (NYSE: DORK) and Dan Brown (AMEX: MNY) to record highs, before taking a Paxil and entering a nearby Manhatten E.R. The Street was immediately resuscitated and had its stomach pumped before closing the day down 18 1/2.