There's no shortage of topics to write about after a few month hiatus from this juggernaut of whimsy.  There's been a tragic shooting at Virginia Tech., a Commander-in-Chief less popular than the weakest Fox reality series, and a set of foreign occupations that leave us longing for a more Vietnam-like imbroglio.  Any one of these would be worthy of comedic polish, and indeed were until I recently ordered a new fan for my office.  Now normally you may not think this would rank up there with military occupations and psycho-shooters, but it does.  In fact, this single stupid event revealed a way to save billions of dollars, possibly end our dependence on foreign oil and stall global warming.

Overblown?  Overly dramatic?  Let me explain.

"Boston, MA -- Firearms are used to kill two out of every three homicide victims in America. In the first nationally representative study to examine the relationship between survey measures of household firearm ownership and state level rates of homicide, researchers at the Harvard Injury Control Research Center found that homicide rates among children, and among women and men of all ages, are higher in states where more households have guns. The study appears in the February 2007 issue of Social Science and Medicine."  (more)

Also in the March 2007 issue of the Journal of the Completely Obvious, a subsidiary of Duh Publishing.  The scientists next are going to study the suspected correlation between blindness and staring directly at the sun.