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Written by Scott Meadow
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Tuesday, 30 August 2005 (read 1678 times) |
You know, people often say to me, "HEY! What the fuck are you doing here??" and, "ALL RIGHT PUT DOWN THE GUN, NOW!!!" and even, "You're not my daddy!"
And sometimes people ask me, "What is IRREVERENT?"
That's
a fine question too, one that, if I were sober enough, I'd spend some
quality time pondering and crafting a yummy and nutritious
response. But since I'm not, I'll just bang out an HTML table of
dichotomies. Enjoy.
IRREVERENT | NOT IRREVERENT | | The Marx Brothers | The Statler Brothers | | Chris Rock | Bill Cosby | | Lenny Bruce | Bruce Jenner | | Rodney Dangerfield | Rodney King | | The Kids in the Hall | Hall 'n Oats | | Monty Python | Monty Hall | | Sam Kinison | Sam Donaldson | | Chris Farley | Kris Kristofferson | | Bruce Willis | Willy Nelson | | "Mr. Show" | "Mr. Saturday Night" | | Bill Clinton | Bill Bixby | | Dennis Leary | Dennis Miller | | Gerald Ford | Jerry Lewis | | Douglas Adams | Douglas Fairbanks | | Mr. Ed | Ed Gillespie | | "Animal House" | "The Cider House Rules" | | "1984" | 1948 | | John Belushi | John McCain | | Phil Silvers | Dr. Phil | | Don Rickles | Don Knotts | | "Caddyshack" | Golf | | Lewis Black | Clint Black | | Mike Judge | Judge Reinhold | | "The Simpsons" | O.J. Simpson | | Bugs Bunny | Bugsy Malone | | Daffy Duck | Donald Duck | | Kevin Smith | Adam Smith | | Kevin Kline | Calvin Kline | | "MAD TV" | M.A.D.D. | | George Carlin | George Bush | | George McGovern | George Stephanopoulos | | Kurt Vonnegut Jr. | Kurt Russell (except for Snake Plisken) |
NEWS:
July 4th --
Fifteen
people were killed today when their "9-11 Memorial Fireworks" exploded
prematurely in incidents throughout the nation. The
Taiwanese manufacturer of the fireworks issued no statement in English.
| NEWS:
July 4th --
Over a dozen people were killed today in fireworks-related accidents.
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DATING:
"Jinkies!! That's a mighty big dildoe! Why'd you bring that to the restaurant on our first date again, Fred?"
| DATING:
"One should always escort the lady through the passageway first, as a matter of courtesy and mark of superior breeding." | RESPONSE TO DOOR TO DOOR EVANGELISM:
"Yessir, I must admit that's a mighty fine looking cock ring, but I'm here to let you know that the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!!" |
RESPONSE TO DOOR TO DOOR EVANGELISM:
"Good day, sir. Have you considered the fate of your immortal soul? Why YES I do have a pamphlet for you to read."
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T.V.:
"Next
on Psychopathic Matchmaker, Tim tries to hide Lauren's body despite the
police D.N.A. test which returns positive. See what happens when
we tip off the cops and leave a 9mm Browning where Tim can easily find it!!"
| T.V.:
"Next on Murder She Wrote... a non-threatening variation of last week's episode." |
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Monkey Pile 
