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On the Pipe |
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Contributed by Tyrone Mercer
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Saturday, 05 November 2005 (read 3061 times) |
To some my little company, R.A. Enterprises, is a riddle wrapped in a
mystery inside an enigma. Of course I'm rarely concerned with
what the SEC thinks. Suffice it to say that we're an idea
organization and some of our ideas are, frankly, brilliant.
Sometimes though we come up with something that is so profound, so
frightening, so wrought with fundamental paradigm shift that we have to
forego the fabulous wealth that would accrue and let the idea pass.
 As I traveled around this summer, seeing America, talking to the fives
of IRREVERENT readers, and just generally exploring my world, I found
the country's rural telecommunications system in a bizarre state of
flux. On the one hand were the wi-fi hot spots at rest stops in
the middle of Iowa, and absolutely no wi-fi in Cozad, Nebraska. I
could sign up for SBC FreedomLink service at a McDonalds in Casper,
Wyoming, but nobody in Casper seemed to be able to sign up for
SBC/Yahoo DSL. Very curious. I'm told by one of my
traveling companions that, as I contemplated the vast amount of money
to be made bringing high-speed Internet to the masses, that my pupils
spun comically around and came up dollar signs. Something clearly
was wrong.
When I got back to the office, I sent out some interns, led by Jo-Jo
the Research Monkey into the data mine to discover the problem.
They returned with a tale of extreme national danger narrowly averted,
and heroic corporate behavior not seen since the outsourcing boom
raised the living standards of the third world. In an age in
which so many companies are driven solely by the market, profitability,
and plain straight up capitalism, it was refreshing to see that the
nation's telecommunications industries, that's Big TelecomTM to you,
are giving all of that a miss and serving the common good.
Here's
the problem: There's a great digital divide in the country.
Several rural areas find themselves lacking the infrastructure that
would allow the people who live there to take advantage of all the
internet has to offer. There's a downside to this: several
communities can't attract employers who need to connect at high speed
to run far flung operations, students and faculty have to abandon hopes
of accessing the latest in research, livestock have to live in a state
of constant fear of farm folk without access to Internet porn.
For rural residents less Democratic than their sheep humping brethren,
high-speed telecommunications may result in shame and guilt over the
living conditions of their fellow man and ultimately to a huge backlash
against the current cabal of yahoos pretending to be public
servants. Fortunately Big TelecomTM knowing how damaging
access to information can be, has been dragging its heels on providing
fast, inexpensive, network connections to rural America. Lucky us.
 Some politicians see the rural digital divide as a problem.
Cities, and other government institutions are beginning to exercise
their small "d" democratic rights and explore the mistaken notion that
they can build infrastructure more efficiently than any private
organization. Flush with success at building relatively simple
structures like roads, sewers, and water delivery systems, small cities
and rural counties think that stringing fiber optic cable 20 feet up a
pole ought to be a doddle. They've actually had the nerve to go
to their citizens and suggest they be allowed to form
telecommunications utilities to study the issue and possibly begin
installing the equipment. Big TelecomTM, as if it didn't have
enough problems outsourcing all of it's tech support to Bangalore, now
finds itself having to produce hundreds of ads in markets all across
the country explaining what an expensive and terrible idea municipal
utilities are. They know the wisdom of monopolies, they've had
years of experience. They're not, as all the world thinks, cold,
heartless capitalists. If they were would they have a gentleman's
agreement not to compete in certain markets despite an FCC regulation
allowing them to do so? Of course not! They're protecting
rural America from overloading it's tiny redneck mind trying to choose
the fastest service at the lowest price, and keeping shysters like
Corning from forcing us to close the last gap in the country's fiber
optic network, the one between your home and the telephone pole.
It's truly a win for everybody.
Big Telecom'sTM argument here is really quite compelling.
"Municipal telecommunications utilities put taxpayer money at risk,"
they say. "The market place will work just fine and you will all
get the same kind of network access the rest of the world enjoys
eventually. Why give your tax money to politicians who'll waste
it?" It really tugs at the heartstrings in a way. I mean
think of all the uses to which that tax money might otherwise be
put: providing for the educational needs of Verizon CEO Ivan G.
Seidenberg's children. Or providing work for the guys building
Comcast Chairman Brian L. Roberts' yacht. Or, perhaps most useful
of all, paying for SBC CFO Richard G. Lindner's vacation to Bali where,
thanks to determined government action, he can check his email on the
same high speed network that serves each Bali citizen. All of
these reasons aside, imagine the investments you could make with that
money, like oh, say, investing in Big TelecomTM or upgrading your
Internet connection to broadband. The possibilities are truly
endless.
Of course, compelling as its argument is, Big TelecomTM has a huge
fight on its hands. Some people are wandering astray and
beginning to think that they need to make investments in their own
communities first. "The corporations won't help us," goes the
argument, "We'll have to help ourselves." Seems the Geneva
Convention isn't the only quaint notion still running around America
these days. Fortunately the fight isn't just at the local
level. State legislators can't hardly move around their offices
without running into a Big TelecomTM lobbyist bravely pitching the
case for less local democracy. If all goes well, they can prevent
future municipalities from making a terrible mistake. As for me,
well I'm happy to see Big TelecomTM fight this fight. I think
there's already enough fear and ignorance on the net, take a look at
the Alexa ratings for this rag, and anything that will restrict that is
a fantastic idea. Of course it means that the rest of you will
need to buy more IRREVERENT merchandise, but with all the money you're
saving on your tax bill that should be a doddle, shouldn't it?
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Some of the People 
