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Contributed by John Sammon
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Monday, 07 November 2005 (read 2005 times) |
 The vice president of the United States, Dick "Beat Me Bite Me" Cheney,
is asking for the CIA to have permission to torture prisoners.
Dick! Dick!
Tie me up! Whip me! Dick Oooh Dick!
Dick is the Marquee De Sade. He walks into his torture dungeon with a whip studded with spikes, the ultimate macho stud.
We run a series of CIA secret torture camps in Eastern Europe, the news
divulged last week. Think of it. As the old Soviet Union was giving up
communism and dismantling its Gulag, its immense slave system of forced
labor, torture, murder and mayhem, and annihilation....
We were just starting up our own.
We're becoming the new "Evil Empire."
Let's imagine for a moment, that you and I are prisoners in Dick's
torture dungeon of love, located in a concrete bunker under the
Pentagon. Dick swaggers up, his whip in one hand, a morning star (iron
ball with spikes hanging from the end of a chain) in the other.
"It's so nice of you to visit me in my loneliness," Cheney says.
"Oh yes Dick, yes!"
This is a proud moment for the Founding Fathers of our country. They must be spinning in their graves.
"Wait a minute Dick! Wait a minute! What are you going to do next?"
"You'll see," Dick says.
Dick looks over at a chain saw in the corner.
"No Dick no! Not that!" I plead. "I'll tell you what you want to know. I'll tell you anything."
"You're a traitor. You're not with us. You're against us. What are their plans?"
"I don't know."
"You'll talk. Or I'll hoist you up onto the Lazy Susan."
"No! Not that! Not the Lazy Susan."
Dick pinches my left nipple. "How's that?"
"Oh Dick," I moan. "Now do the right one."
"How is it?"
"Exquisite!"
"Are you going to talk?"
"You're a freak."
"I'm going to put you on the rack."
"No, not the rack! If you do could you set it for six-foot-seven? I'd like to try out for the NBA. Could we discuss this first?"
"You're going to sign a confession."
"Yes Dick. Yes!"
"But first, you're going to taste the whip."
"Dick? Has anybody ever told you... you have beautiful eyes?"
© 2004 by SammonSays.com. Reprinted with permission.
James Sammon is the author of two novels, "The Gods Who Stunk," and "Freedom Pagoda," as well as publishing SammonSays.com.
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Monkey Pile 
