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Al-Qaeda, Our Bosom Buddies |
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Contributed by John Sammon
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Wednesday, 01 March 2006 (read 1537 times) |
Al-Qaeda in twenty years will be an ally of the US.
Our bosom buddy.
We'll need their help against China.
Before you call me insane, or a traitor….hear me out.
First of all, I'm a mystic, a clairvoyant, who drives an old Toyota. Sammon knows all.
This in no way means I'm against us defending ourselves against terror,
or going after the perpetrators of 9-11 and bringing them to justice (I
am against our misguided attempt to do cultural surgery on Iraq. Iraq
didn't do 9-11).
Look at the list of our former enemies who are now our best buddies. Germany and Japan are the two most obvious.
In all these wars, it's too bad we couldn't just skip the fighting part
and go to the buddy part right away. Some of our opponents were evil
and needed to be taken out.
Russia, also a former enemy, we're sort of friendly with now.
We're even warming up to Vietnam.
Tourists go there. We're going to build Burger Kings there……eventually
a new "Disney World Asia" amusement park. You'll be able to go on the
"Tet Offensive Ride," a spectacular tour through a simulated combat
zone in 1968.
Why are we friendly with Vietnam? They do have oil.
We lost the Vietnam War. But our society of X-rated videos, heart
attack cholesterol junk food and single family executive tract housing
will win out in the end, overwhelm Vietnam…just as it's doing to
Thailand (the new Asian hot spot for porno shows, growing trash heaps,
disposable condoms, and AIDS).
Money and sin are more powerful than any bomb (maybe we should import tit and ass shows to Iraq). In fact, we are.
The cynical truth is, America loves dictators, and uses them when it's
advantageous. Look at Libya. Remember that strongman guy Kadafi?
The world's boogieman before Saddam.
We bombed him twenty years ago. But now that he's doing what we want
(settled down), we kind of like the guy, or at least ignore him.
I don't like Nazis. But a car sticker could say, "If you love your freedom, thank a Nazi."
After World War II, we imported Nazis including Wernher von Braun.
He pioneered our space program and the intercontinental ballistic missile system that helped keep the Russian commies at bay.
It was our German Nazi scientists against their (Russian) captured German Nazi scientists.
We won the Cold War.
Some of these Nazis we imported were war criminals.
Al-Qaeda are the bad guys now. But a lot can change in twenty years.
The emerging might of China, a ruthless, terrorist country with a
dictator using capitalistic economic trappings to dominate the world,
is the most frightening threat of all. The US will attempt to counter
this by seeking allies in the so-called "Third World."
By then it will be called, the "Two-and-a-Half World."
It will, at the very least, be a new "Cold War."
Unlike the ragged, barefoot insurgents in the Middle East hiding in
basements, China is a real threat…with real weapons of mass destruction.
We're going to need friends, and just like always, enemies today will be friends tomorrow.
I propose to the president that we take action. Begin softening up the
Chinese now by using our most potent weapons. Build burger joints and
adult peep shows in their country so they become more like us….fat and
horny.
We're off to a good start: The Chinese are already driving more cars and wearing ties.
©2006, SammonSays.com. Reprinted with permission.
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