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Written by Scott Meadow
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Monday, 13 March 2006 (read 1329 times) |
We really need to go back to ignoring celebrities on everything outside
their particular cause celebre. When Bruce Willis' silly soliloquies
rate a diplomatic incident, we need to unleash the firehose of reason
and soak everyone with the icy water of common sense. Hey, Columbia!
Willis is not our ambassador, holds no diplomatic or other government
position, and is about as well informed as any other millionaire actor
working 20 hours a day on a Hollywood sound stage pretending to jump
off high buildings while squibs explode all around him. His comments
are his own, so why on earth do you even care?
He wasn't commenting on which weight-loss regimen is most effective
before a frontal nude scene with Kim Bassinger. He wasn't giving
out his personal system for line memorization. He didn't slam an
acting teacher, or mention which dramatic school of acting he
preferred. All of these things are things you could quote him on,
Columbia: I'm sure he has some expertise worth noting in case your
country has an upcoming nude scene with a major Hollywood
actress. But a political remedy for staunching international drug
smuggling? Who cares what Bruce has to say? Not even Bruce himself.
In a recent interview Willis confessed: "I hate the government, OK? I'm
a-political. Write that down," he told Gregory Ellwood at Hitlist (MSN
Movies). Someone FAX that to the Presidential residence in
Columbia, please, before they start shooting down our surveillance
flights, because President Alvaro Uribe takes this guy pretty seriously. I dunno, maybe he's a big "Die Hard" fan and feels slighted, who knows?
President Uribe called Willis' comments a "shock to Columbia's dignity." Huh? I guess this means that Bruce Willis' praise of Columbia drug fighting efforts would have somehow rated a new holiday in Bogotá?
Maybe I'm missing something here, maybe the action star has some
foreign policy street cred I'm ignorant of. Hang on, I'm hitting
Google.
Nope. He's not a member of the Council on Foreign Relations, has
never held a position as a CIA analyst or anything covering Columbia or
drug enforcement efforts, nor has he ever worked for the DEA as far as
I can tell. Pretty much just the guy from "Moonlighting" who made
it huge in action movies and a sometime jazz band. And his
first name is really Walter. I love Wikipedia.
So, Columbia, please get a grip. I realize that George Dubya
isn't much to listen to, but he does hold the office that a slim
majority of voters chose to give him. At least start with the politicians before reading up on the tipsy red carpet actors, okay?
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Monkey Pile 
