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WASHINGTON - At a gathering of the Rational International Policy Delegation in Washington today, members articulated a measured, rational, anti-terrorism policy.
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Pamela Anderson Arrested by T.S.A. Print E-mail
Written by IRNewz   
Tuesday, 15 August 2006 (read 6825 times)
NEW YORK - Celebrity Pamela Anderson was arrested at JFK today when TSA officials extended their ban on gels, pastes and liquids to include "silicone and saline-based breast implants."

Celebrity Pamela Anderson was grounded and taken into custody today for transporting 'terrorist liquids.'
Celebrity Pamela Anderson was grounded and taken into custody today for transporting 'terrorist liquids.'
Official arrest records indicate that Ms. Anderson was detained and ultimately arrested for the "illegal transportation... of a terrorist gel or liquid aboard a commercial airliner," a felony offense.  Unfortunately for millions of fans, the only possible sentence for such a violation, if convicted, is "death by hanging."  Ms. Anderson's preliminary hearing is scheduled for August 25th in what is widely thought to become a media circus.

"We obviously intend on fighting this arrest and getting the charges dropped," said James Brady, Ms. Anderson's publicist.  "The fact that anyone would even suggest that Pam's breasts are a terrorist threat is positively asinine.  If anything, they are the two most patriotic, American things I've ever seen in my life."

Protesters demanded that 'the girls go free' immediately.
Protesters demanded that 'the girls go free' immediately.
Support for the celebrity has been widespread in Hollywood.  Only five hours old, already celebrity activist Bono has organized a concert for Ms. Anderson's legal defense.  "We cannot stand idly by while Pam's rack is persecuted.  Those girls are a thing of truly staggering beauty. This is possibly the worst crime against humanity I've seen in years."

The campaign, entitled "Let the Girls Go!" features a picture of the celebrity and a website address where donations may be given, via PayPal, personal check, or credit card.  The website is funded and owned by IRREVERENT Publisher Scott Meadow.

"Far from being a tax writeoff, these are two issues I can get firmly behind, and even in front of," said Meadow at an extremely hastily prepared press conference while holding a half-empty tumbler of scotch.  "Civil liberties and human rights are both issues I care about deeply.  And this chick's chest is amazing."

 
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