You know!

It's getting to be really sad.

I'm a true genius, the world's greatest clairvoyant, soothsayer, prophet. 

I'm greater than Rasputin. 

And the world doesn't recognize it. Doesn't shower me with women and money, and women.

Here I predicted Hurricane Katrina a week before it happened (It's all on my website. Check it out if you doubt). Then I predicted the death of the TV crocodile hunter two years before it happened.

Then, just a few weeks ago, I predicted George Bush would make an all-out effort to capture or kill Osama bin Laden just before the November election in an attempt to save the Republicans asses before disgusted voters sweep them out of office (see the column Republican Hope).

Sure enough. A newspaper item today said Bush is planning an “October surprise” to get bin Laden. 

This is getting old. When will this moron world realize it has a genius in its midst?

Me! I can foretell the future. I have a gift. Maybe once in a thousand years someone like me comes along, a guy who seems kind of stupid when you talk to me, an inoffensive sort, but who is really divinely ordained.

You think the world values this? Not on your life! I still drive an old car (read this week's column Too Toyota). It's okay. You ignorant bastards want to stumble like a village idiot in sheep shit down the wrong path and ignore the man who has the answers to your problems. Go right ahead. See if I care.

The day will come when you'll say. Gee! I should have asked John. But don't come begging unless you've got money and offers in your hands.

I realized that I had the power last year.

©2006, SammonSays.com. Reprinted with permission.