If confirmed, California Democrat Nancy Pelosi will become the next Speaker of the House, the first female ever to hold that position.  Republican Party Chairman Ken Mehlman, speaking to IRREVERENT on condition of anonymity, said, "Oh shit."

"We Democrats have been waiting patiently for Americans to wake up and elect us to fuck up the nation in a new and beautiful way," Pelosi told supporters this evening.  "We hope to correct the inequities of the past, or at least to comment on them much more loudly with this new megaphone given us by the dopey electorate.  At last the MainStream Media (MSM) will cover what we say because they have to, not because we're generally hotter, less in need of Viagra, and more articulate than our silly opponents on the other side of the aisle.  Now it's time for the predictable speeches and promises that accompany any election victory, which, when we fail to act upon them, will be lovingly forgotten by the people who made this happen, because they'll be far too busy working to pay their escalating bills."