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WASHINGTON - A new poll finds that almost 46% of Americans don't want President Bush impeached, up 1.5% from six months ago.
White House spokesman Tony Snow heralded the slight upswing as "nothing short of a full and total vindication... of the President's Iraqi Peace strategy." "Six months ago, 44.5% of America was opposed to impeaching the President and today that's 46%. I don't know about you, but that tells me the message is getting out: the war is going to be won and won decisively in America's best interests. Or at least that the President shouldn't be impeached for mammoth incompetence and lying to the American people."
Yet naysayers point to other results from the poll, namely that 45% of Americans do support impeachment by the House of Representatives, while the remaining 9% voted for Bucky Covington to win American Idol. Mr. Covington, who is not currently on American Idol, was not available for comment. "I think it would be in America's best interests for President Bush to be impeached," said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. "That being said, I am off to broker peace in the Middle East, or at least muddy the waters of foreign diplomacy so badly that peace becomes virtually impossible. In either case, I'll see you on page 2." "I think most Americans clearly understand the difference between our brand of hypocrisy and the Democrats'," Snow continued, holding a fresh cocktail. "Although I'm not totally clear on the specifics, at the end of the day, what matters most is what we leave to the next generation. And in terms of both foreign policy engagement and domestic policy initiatives, I think that no one can say that this White House was resting on its laurels nor tooting its own horn too loudly." There were no follow-up questions.
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