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Contributed by Mike Soprano
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Tuesday, 07 September 2004 (read 1823 times) |
Welcome back, l'amica.� How's it going?� Have you
liked my reviews lately?� I'm sorry, I don't think you understood me
properly.� I said, you have liked my reviews lately, haven't you?�
That's better.
Now, here's a movie that I didn't like so much.� I was bored one
evening, wishing that I wasn't locked up in this stupid house in
Canada, or is it Mexico?� I can't remember.� Anyway, this
movie stars Anthony Hopkins, Alec Baldwin, and Elle Macpherson. Yes, I
said Elle Macpherson, the model.� No I'm not kidding.� Who
are you? Columbo?� Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to write a review
here.
 Anyway, Hopkins plays an aging billionaire who
apparently knows everything.� I didn't think that was possible
until that guy showed up on Jeopardy who's been winning for like 32
days or something.� Anyway, Hopkins is married to the much younger
model play by Macpherson.� Typecasting or coincidence?�
Discuss among yourselves.� Baldwin plays the photographer who runs
Macpherson's photo shoots in the movie.� You can probably already
see what is going to happen.
Value:
$0.50 | | Our rating system is based on a $7 ticket cost and is the most you should pay to see it. |
Yes, Hopkins really loves his younger
wife.� Yes, Baldwin does too.� Yes, Baldwin and Macpherson
are having an affair.� Yes, Hopkins finds out about it.� The
big difference with this movie from all the others with this idea in it
is that it takes place in Alaska, where a film shoot is taking place.
Hopkins and Baldwin end up� going deep into the woods of Alaska to
photograph a real Indian, and their plan crashes.� By that time,
Hopkins suspects Baldwin is sleeping with his wife, but hasn't been
able to confirm it yet.� He is also the only person who can save
himself and Baldwin and get them back to safety. (remember, he knows
everything)
Gee, what a wonderful plot.� I don't think I could have come up
with that while I was sleeping.� Basically, three people survive
the crash, but one of them gets eaten by a bear, which becomes a
man-hunter who stalks Baldwin and Hopkins for the rest of the
movie..� In the end Hopkins kills the bear, gets himself and
Baldwin out of the woods, but Baldwin dies.� This of course
doesn't help because Hopkins has already found out for sure about the
affair, and you can tell at the end of the movie that his is not
staying with his wife. �
Is this movie believable?� On many levels, it is.� Could
there be a billionaire who marries a super model?� Yes.�
Could that super model have an affair with her photographer?�
Sure.� Could the billionaire know all kinds of stuff, or course, I
mean what else is he going to do with his time?� Could he find out
about the affair?� Definitely.� Could this billionaire be
stranded in the wilderness with nothing but his wife's lover and get
out alive?� I doubt it.� I also doubt that his wife's lover
would stay alive through the movie, but what do I know?
I know that if you want to see a good movie about surviving in the
wild, check out Surviving the Game.� There's a movie that will
keep you going.� Unlike The Edge, it doesn't die in the
middle.� In Surviving the Game a bum is picked up off the streets,
cleaned up and fed so he can become the hunted in a game played by the
extremely rich.
If you're not looking for tricks on surviving Alaskan wilderness or
man-hunting bears, then this movie might be good enough to make you
slit your wrists.� Or it may drive you to quickly drink yourself
into oblivion.� Six bottles of Chianti was how I got through
it.� I give it a rating of fifty cents because it is going to cost
you a lot more to find some way to suffer through this movie.� If
you really want to see a movie about survival, check out Surviving the
Game
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