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Written by Scott Meadow
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Monday, 08 August 2005 (read 2575 times) |
In this atmosphere of terrorists attacking America, the war on Iraq,
WMD proliferation in North Korea and possibly Iran, it's refreshing to
see that some truly visionary wacky Texan State legislators are taking
upon themselves to outlaw excessively sexy cheerleading moves.
If I wasn't already doing a zine like IRREVERENT I'd have to start one.
And then dedicate it to sexy cheerleading moves. Mmmm.
"Girls can get out and do all of these overly
sexually performances and we applaud them, and that's not right," said
Democratic Rep. Al Edwards, who filed the legislation. Well,
Al, I'm cool with it. Chalk up another Louisville Slugger to the groin
for freedom, folks. Now some small minded pinhead in Austin gets to
determine what's "sexually suggestive" and what isn't1. My guess is that'll be some guy who hasn't gotten laid since Reagan was inaugurated. The first time. Edwards
argued bawdy performances are a distraction for students resulting in
pregnancies, dropouts and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Slap me and call me a biologist, but there's only one
way I know of to cause pregnancy or spread STDs, and it involves a
penis and 5-7 Cosmopolitians. It doesn't generally have anything to do
with pom-poms or short skirts. Well directly anyway.
1As a happy update to this story, it doesn't look like this sucka is gonna pass the Texas legislature.
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Monkey Pile 
