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Written by Scott Meadow
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Wednesday, 10 December 2003 (read 2914 times) |
I was sitting around the empty IRREVERENT offices the other day
watching my new porn DVD when it occurred to me that there really
wasn't anything funny to write about this month, especially in the
shadow of the Columbia tragedy. There is obviously nothing funny
about
what happened there. Something that depressing kills the whole
funny vibe. So I cranked up the porn, poured myself a scotch and
before I knew it, I was wondering what's with all the porno chicks
getting tattoos lately? This is apparently a big trend in the
industry. If you're a hot porno chick, it's virtually mandatory
that
you have lots of tattoos, on your ass or hip preferably. Is this
some
sort of "rebellion" thing? Can sex workers rebel?
I don't get it. Except that both tattoos/body piercing and porn
were once "fringe" and are now totally mainstream. I mean, my
grandma's got a tattoo and she may have even been in porn, it's no big
deal anymore. There are NO taboos like that left really.
People look at you funny now if you DON'T have a gold nipple ring and
pierced scrotum. I don't care if you're a corporate lawyer or that
Joe Millionaire guy, if you don't have a hole punched in your privates
you're hardly even a man anymore.
Maybe the thing is that they're trying to "shock" us, these porno
chicks. Like what they do to those 7 guys in the steamy locker
room scene isn't shocking enough anymore, they need a tulip on their
butt to go over the top. Is that it?
Or is it that they're just trying to assert their individuality:
they're trying to distinguish their
private parts from all the other private parts on the screen, is that
it, like a "porn marketing gimmick"? If THIS is a sign
of things to come, man (no pun intended) I am really
depressed. When the girls of porn start etching banner ads for
condom makers into their breasts, like some racecar advertising
Penzoil, I'm moving to Canada and stockpiling Campbells. Who's with me?
As I sat there, finishing my third or ninth scotch, I realized that the hot
porno chicks were probably just following what all the other sex
workers were doing: a porno "follow the leader," if you will.
Well, to whoever the very first porno chick was to get a nipple ring or
butt tattoo, I salute you!
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