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"Why are ya'll walkin' around with bean bags on yer heads?"
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Written by Scott Meadow
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Sunday, 25 May 2008 |
 Here, guys, catch this anchor! A buddy of mine recently sent me a link to a Fox News video clip. This wasn’t anything out of the ordinary: he and I routinely engage in political email debates over many public policy matters, such as the energy crisis, the wars, global warming, etc. Regardless of the topic, these emails follow a predictable format: “Hey, Scott,” he’ll write, “look what you silly liberals are doing all wrong now, you nutbags!” “Oh yeah,” I'll write back, “well look at what you wingnuts have to offer, let me just grab my brown shirt and start burning books!” And so they go. Sometimes he drags his mother into it when he’s really desperate. This time, however, honestly because I really needed to write something for IRREVERENT, I decided to take time to revise and extend my remarks for the greater public, beyond those guys in the N.S.A. who steal my emails.The link was to a video that showed California Democrat Maxine Waters, who represents California’s 35th Congressional district, threatening the big oil executives testifying before her. Waters, who’s been in the House since 1991, wasn’t threatening the well grazed chief executives with bodily violence. She knew better than that. Waters would be lucky to hold up these guys’ dinner plates, let alone cause any major damage to their behemoth frames. Instead she was threatening to nationalize the oil industry itself in the United States, apparently (there was no context for the clip) in response to her perceived unwillingness of the industry to offer the American public (in California’s 35th district that is) gas-price relief.
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Written by IRNewz
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Wednesday, 28 May 2008 |
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MAIN STREET, USA - Gas prices in the United States today broke through the previous "Wacky" level to reach "Silly" heights. |
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Contributed by John Sammon
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Friday, 27 June 2008 |
 Damn. Why don't Paris have oil. You know what bothers me, apart from the ethics, who’s right and who’s wrong? (America is always right, right or wrong). America only attacks small, poor countries. Look at the list of our opponents over the past thirty years or so, Vietnam, Granada, Iraq, Afghanistan, The Balkans, Lebanon, and Cuba (oops, we didn’t attack Cuba, we almost did). Always in the name of freedom. It makes me yearn for World War Two, the good war, where we fought competent powerful enemies worthy of the name. Now, I know because we’re America we’re always right no matter what. I know we have right on our side in every case. That we’re infallible, incapable of error. But do we always have to fight countries much smaller than ourselves? |
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Written by Scott Meadow
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Sunday, 06 July 2008 |
 Hey buddy, you might want to stick a few more beers in your pocket for later. If you ever wondered what would happen if you took a Godzilla movie and filmed it like The Blair Witch, Cloverfield (2008) is what you've been waiting for. |
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Contributed by Tyrone Mercer
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Thursday, 01 February 2007 |
Every winter about this time I find the fog clearing and sanity reasserting itself. Each year I resolve that it's never going to happen again, that I'm finally going to get my act together and abandon the follies of my youth. I think this year I'll finally be able to make a positive change because, as I lay passed out in the middle of what I can only hope was corn chowder, I had an epiphany: I realized that I was drinking to escape and what I wanted to escape was the no-fun, puritanical, hypocritical bastards that seemed to crawl out of the woodwork and ruin my holiday fun. |
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Written by Scott Meadow
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Monday, 05 February 2007 |
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"Boston, MA -- Firearms are used to kill two out of every three homicide victims in America. In the first nationally representative study to examine the relationship between survey measures of household firearm ownership and state level rates of homicide, researchers at the Harvard Injury Control Research Center found that homicide rates among children, and among women and men of all ages, are higher in states where more households have guns. The study appears in the February 2007 issue of Social Science and Medicine." (more)
Also in the March 2007 issue of the Journal of the Completely Obvious, a subsidiary of Duh Publishing. The scientists next are going to study the suspected correlation between blindness and staring directly at the sun. |
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Contributed by C Lo
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Thursday, 02 March 2006 |
Bravo! has done it again! Yes, they have come up with another great,
pointless reality show called Project Runway, hosted by the gorgeous,
deal-with-the-devil beauty, Heidi Klum. The last time I saw Heidi, she
did a cameo for the hit show Sex & The City, and her one line was,
"How do I look?" She then flowed over Carrie Bradshaw on, you guessed
it, the runway. Stunning as ever and very pregnant (although I was
relieved to see that her legs looked thick, at least she's retaining
something), she arrives for a second season on the Bravo channel to say
the now famous words of, "Are you in, or are you out?" "They sew, she
cuts" is how they advertise this great fun of judging people who clearly
have little talent and need to keep their current jobs. |
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