WASHINGTON - Today President Obama called the Information Assurance Directorate (IAD) at the NSA over issues he's having with his new Windows 8 desktop.
After being put on hold for nearly an hour, Greg Jensen, a Tech Support Specialist III at the IAD, eventually took the President's call and began walking him through the agency's elaborate troubleshooting flowchart.
"Have you made sure the RJ-45 cable is securely attached to your network card?" Jensen asked, according to a recording of the conversation IRREVERENT has obtained via a FOIA request.
"The what?" President Obama responded.
"The network cable, sir. It's where," Jensen sighed, "the internet comes from."
"Oh that," the President said. "Yes, I see it here, yes, it's in there tightly."
"Ok, sir, that's good. Have you tried rebooting?"
"That's.. that's turning it off and on again, right?" the President said.
"Yes, sir," Jensen sighed.
The conversation went on in a similar manner for 54 more minutes, although, for reasons that are not apparent, a missing 18 1/2 minute gap appears roughly in the middle of the call.
"The President was having some general slowness when accessing the internet," White House Spokesman Jay Carney told reporters at a hastily prepared press conference early this afternoon. "He was seeing some random pop-ups and this made the President think there may be some sort of virus or malware or something. However, after a thorough and frank discussion with [Greg] Jensen at the IAD, the President was persuaded to wipe the hard drive and re-install Windows 8 altogether, which will take him at least the rest of the day and most of the evening, including re-installing everything, which is always a major hassle."
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