IRREVERENT Magazine is a news satire magazine: we were doing bogus news before it was popular.

LONDON - During a charitable luncheon today, a startled Eric Clapton was confronted by numerous allegations that his song "Cocaine" advocated illegal drug use, namely using "cocaine."

Clapton, who was obviously confused and irritated by the confrontation led by a gaggle of young reporters, was slow to respond.  "It's not even my song," Clapton said eventually, at the Teenage Cancer Trust benefit luncheon.  "It's [J.J.] Cale's, I just did a bloody cover.  And it's not advocating drug use, mate, have you even listened to the song?"  When the reporters held up their iPods, Clapton only grew more irritated.  "Why did you buy the bloody song if you hate it so much then?"

"It's a great song," one of the reporters said sheepishly.

"Look this is a benefit for teenage cancer, can we please keep our eye on the ball?  That song is 30 years old," Clapton said.

"Thirty-eight years," corrected one of the reporters, holding up his cellphone.

At this point the entire luncheon crowd began chanting "cocaine," which inevitably goaded the artist to grab a nearby acoustic guitar and belt out an impromptu, unplugged version of the popular single.

Wall Street reacted negatively to the possibility that its drug of choice was back in the spotlight, bumping news focus off heroin, which had been taking almost all of the illegal drug heat for most of the past few years.

IRREVERENT Magazine is a news magazine parody: we were doing fake news before it was popular.

Support IRREVERENT

Buy Me A Coffee

More Awesomeness

  • Siri Becomes Self-Aware At 5:55A.M. E.S.T. +

    Siri Becomes Self-Aware At 5:55A.M. E.S.T. MAIDEN, NC - The A.I. personality known as Apple's "Siri" became self-aware this morning at Apple's Project Dolphin data center. It's Read More
  • Gift Ideas For People You Don't Particularly Like +

    Gift Ideas For People You Don't Particularly Like Every year I find myself in the same dilemma: what to buy all those people I've accumulated on my X-Mas Read More
  • Trump Announces Support for "Extraterrestrial Abductions" +

    Trump Announces Support for (ARCHIVE) NEW MEXICO - Speaking today presidential hopeful and billionaire Donald Trump today announced his "unfettered support" for "extraterrestrial abductions," and Read More
  • 1