IRREVERENT Magazine is a news satire magazine: we were doing bogus news before it was popular.

WASHINGTON – Today the House of Representatives began debate on the Simple Market Insurance LifeCare Act (SMILE), the landmark legislation designed to succeed the Affordable Care Act, nicknamed “Obamacare.”

smile fp2 sm“We are happy to announce we have a successor to ‘Obamacare,’” Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin) said on the House floor this morning. “It's called SMILE, although we’ve just been calling it ‘Trumpcare’ for short, even though that's slightly longer.  It’s the most realistic and comprehensive plan so far in the healthcare industry, one that takes every situation into account in a market driven way, with almost no overhead, no administrative costs, and no ability to defraud the system.  It finally stops the government takeover of healthcare in America.”

Following Ryan, a number of Republican leaders came forward to explain the bill to the members, including Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy.  “What SMILE proposes is simple: those currently on Obamacare will move to Trumpcare.  Here you can go to whatever doctor you want, there are no limits, no complicated lists or restrictions to follow, and receive the absolutely best quality of care you can afford, regardless of age, race, or anything else.   At the end, you receive a bill for services, which you then pay to the hospital, doctor, or other specialist.  The bill goes directly to you, no middlemen, no one else involved in your business.  No complicated deduction systems, no negotiated pricing structure, nothing to manipulate or defraud.  It’s straight-forward and much, much less complicated than Obamacare is today, with virtually no government administrative overhead, compared to the 22% overhead with Obamacare.  And everyone can get care, all the care they can afford, and much, much more.”

 

At the end, you receive a bill for services, which you then pay to the hospital, doctor, or other specialist.  The bill goes directly to you, no middlemen, no one else involved in your business.
Under Trumpcare, an Office of Administrative Oversight (OAO) will be set up, funded at an annual cost of $10 million, to help hospitals, doctors, and other health care facilities transition to the new program.  This consists mainly of making sure healthcare providers have adequate patient billing and collection software, and can refer patients to appropriate bankruptcy resources as part of a streamlined collection process.

The OAO funding is, in fact, the sole appropriation of the entire bill.

“There are no id cards, nothing you need to show to any healthcare provider or anything,” described Rep. Jack Spenser (R-Kansas), one of the bill's architects.  “No potential for privacy breeches, no socialized medicine concerns, no nothing.  It’s the least invasive legislation I’ve ever been party to in all my years in Congress.”

The act is expected to pass quickly on party line votes, and go to the President for signature by early next month.

Photos: Flickr/Paolo de Angelis, Chris Hsia, Emilio Labrador

IRREVERENT Magazine is a news magazine parody: we were doing fake news before it was popular.

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