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PALO ALTO, CA— When the board of directors at NexiCorp accidentally fired the entire C-suite during a botched automated HR update, the markets braced for a bloodbath. Instead, they got a miracle. For the last six months, NexiCorp has been led by ceo_v1.py,

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HAWTHORNE, California — SpaceX CEO Elon Musk unveiled the second iteration of his Mars colony prototype Wednesday, highlighting what he called "substantial quality-of-life improvements" including three-tier Wi-Fi service, a proprietary streaming platform, and what engineers cautiously described

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WASHINGTON — The U.S. Senate is expected this week to confirm Kevin Warsh as the next Chairman of the Federal Reserve, with lawmakers praising his "unprecedented qualifications" for managing the nation's monetary policy — chief among them, a personal net worth so substantial that price

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Poll finds 71% of U.S. respondents "very concerned" about a body of water they place somewhere between Dubai and Daytona Beach

WASHINGTON — As the Strait of Hormuz entered its twelfth consecutive day of near-total closure — the latest phase of a disruption that has intensified

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Boreal Crown Voyages says 18 disembarked passengers from the MV Pelagic Sovereign are engaged in a "wellness check-in"; former CDC director's "dead end" prediction added to testimonials carousel


AMSTERDAM — Boreal Crown Voyages, operator of the expedition cruise ship MV

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Attorneys for Puget Sound defendant move to distinguish isolated interpersonal grievance from broader anti-pinniped animus; seal unavailable for comment


SEATTLE — Attorneys for a Bellevue man charged with throwing rocks at a federally protected harbor seal near the

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Thursday, May 21, 2026

OAK BROOK, Ill.—McDonald's Corporation disclosed in a regulatory filing Thursday that its board of directors has approved a $2 trillion performance-based stock award for CEO Chris Kempczinski, contingent upon the achievement of five operational milestones that the company acknowledged "read more like a fever dream than securities law."

The 5-tranche award, disclosed in a Form 8-K filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission, would vest in stages as Kempczinski meets conditions ranging from global consumer saturation to interplanetary real estate development. At full vesting, the package would represent approximately 2 percent of global GDP.

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Wednesday, May 20, 2026 , Chuckles
WASHINGTON — Jack Thugge, head of the United States Government Anti-Corruption Office (GACO), was...
Tuesday, May 19, 2026 , Chuckles
Fifty rogue sheep entered a Penny supermarket in Burgsinn, Germany, leaving broken bottles,...

Man Who Used AI to Write His Wedding Vows Is Now Suing the Algorithm for Emotional Distress

by Madison Garcia | Technology & Gaming Correspondent, IRREVERENT Magazine

HER APARTMENT — I have tested a lot of products that promised to improve my life. The Throne smart-toilet, which unboxed itself at CES 2026 and immediately began a podcast about my gastrointestinal habits. A meditation app that responded to my anxiety by sending me push notifications about my anxiety that made me anxious. A Bluetooth-enabled water bottle that judged my hydration in a voice I can

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by Sam Turge | Senior Political Correspondent, IRREVERENT Magazine

ROOM 614, MID-TIER MANHATTAN HOTEL — I have eaten apple pie in this room. I have eaten it from a paper plate procured from the lobby sundry shop, using a plastic fork that bent under the weight of the crust. The ice machine on the seventh floor is broken. The curtains

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by Scott Meadow | Editor & Publisher, IRREVERENT Magazine

THE EDITOR'S DESK — I don't know if Kharla is actually banned from Milan. I have read her piece from FAT Toronto — "I Am in Toronto Because I Cannot Legally Return to Milan Yet" — and I have stared at the phrase "legally return" for longer than I would care

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Fashion Art Toronto, S/S 2026: the coats know where they are, the photographers behave themselves, and the prosecco is — fine, the prosecco is fine.

TORONTO — My lawyer's name is Geoffrey. He wears fleece. Not ironic fleece, not heritage fleece, not the Loro Piana cashmere fleece the Milanese aperitivo crowd has recently and

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