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Special Features
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- Written by Roberta Hart
Did you know that, statistically, your child is safer left alone on a street corner than in the "safety" of a Catholic church? We, as parents, fear the loss or harm of our child above all else. You worry continually about their safety and well being, to the point of sleepless nights. We teach our children to not talk to, or accept anything from strangers. We teach them to avoid situations that can place them directly in harm's way. We routinely check websites like "Megan's Law" to be informed as to where the dangers lie. Then, you drop them off at your local church and feel that they are safe and loved.
So I have to ask you, how far up your ass does your head have to be to NOT see the inherent dangers here? How many times do we, as a society, have to hear about acts of sexual assault, molestation and rape within the Catholic church before you morons get it? Now pull your bunched panties out of your ass, and settle down. I am NOT attacking your faith, or your choice of being a dutiful Catholic. I am attacking your idiocy as a parent. How is it, that after this many years and incidents of gross negligence on the part of the Catholic church, that you just can not see what is right under your noses? How can you NOT see that the very structure of your religion is a breeding ground for the socially backward and deviants that lurk in the primordial ooze of our society?
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- Written by John Sammon
The following is an unauthorized biographical interview I did with Sarah Palin's subconscious.
Me - Sarah, you recently forced Obama's advisor Rahm Emanuel to apologize for using the word "retarded," saying it was an insult to your son. Was that a publicity stunt or an attempt to re-write the English language?
Sarah - How dare you?
Me - It's easy.
Sarah - Okay then. No, I did it because it's heartbreaking.
Me - But the word "retarded" is an accepted word in the English language.
Sarah - It's an insult to my son.
Me - Would you also be against the use of the words, stupid, idiot, moron, cretin and numbskull?
Sarah - Yes.
Me - Because they're an insult to your son?
Sarah - No! They're an insult to me personally.
Me - Why did you say publicly you'd consider running for the president when you've already made the decision to run because you'd like to be the first woman president so bad you can taste it?
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- Written by John Sammon
American television stinks. They give out awards (Emmys) for producing crap. The best thing that ever happened was the writer's strike, which partially shut down the foul industry. If only we could shut it all down.
Shows with lawyers and doctors and women who try to act and talk tough. Shows that because they lack imagination try to shock you with tepid hinted at sexual innuendo.
It's sh..'t.
We don't need writers anyway.
Let's go all the way. I've got an idea for a TV show so vulgar, so vile, so tasteless, it will be a smash hit. Once again. Bring back the Little Rascals. In prime time.
In case you haven't heard of them, the Little Rascals were a bunch of child actors in comedies in the 1930s. The show, under the guise of cute comedy, featured every type of disgusting perversion. It was X rated and at the time, nobody knew it. It was just as bad as anything you see on TV today. But it had going for it both pedophilia and butt fetishism.
I'm not kidding.
Alfalfa is always hitting on Darla (Hood). The beautiful little brunette coquette. It's an on-again off-again case of the hots. At various times, Darla is interested in studious educated Waldo, but also the neighborhood bully Butch.
She can't make up her mind whether she's into muscle (Alfalfa) or poetry (Waldo). She's into all of it. She's a nymphomaniac. She's having it with all of them.
This goes beyond a ménage a trois. This is a five-a-trios.
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- Written by Roberta Hart
Tupac's song "Changes" is one of 9 entries on the MySpace page for Pope Benedict XVI's album "Alma Mater: Music From The Vatican." (Check it out here.)
Father Giulio Neroni, artistic director of church publisher St. Paul's Multimedia, helmed the list, CNN reports. He also compiled the songs for the Pope Benedict XVI's featured Alma Mater album..
Some might question the Vatican's use of a song from such a controversial artist. The jailed rapper ultimately succumbed to violence when he was fatally shot in Las Vegas in 1996.
Please forgive the title of this article, but know that it is simply my idea of what the late Tupac Shakur whould have said if he knew this was happening. That, my friends is the ONLY thing that I will apologize for in this entry. Frankly, I don't even know where to begin with this one. I will try to control my stream of consciousness and profanity to make a coherent and well reasoned post. I said TRY. I am not making any promises.
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- Written by John Sammon
Racists believe that God is a white man who looks like John Wayne.
But is he?
Is God white? In all the art over the centuries, including his representation on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, he is portrayed as white, in the case of Michelangelo's masterpiece, a grey-bearded, fierce-looking giant floating on a cloud.
If God is truly a Caucasian, then racists and Southern Confederate fundamentalist Christians can take delusional heart thinking that they were created in God's image, and thus are better than people of color. If you look like God and somebody else doesn't, you must be better. Feeling better than someone else is important to a racist. Very important.
But is God white?
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