Temporal Immigration Enforcement Officer Niles Enrique Omera Nogales said at a press conference hastily called three weeks ago that a group of “coyotes” and their cargo had been traced to the home of Marge and Homer Simpson where they were preparing for another temporal jump into the future.
“We are pleased to announce,” said T.I.E. Officer Nogales, “that we have apprehended one George Jetson; Jane, his wife; his daughter Judy; his boy Elroy; and his dog Astro. Arrested with the Jetson Gang are Marge and Homer Simpson; their children: Bart, Lisa, and Maggie; and their pets Snowball II and Santa's Little Helper. Also arrested are The Flintstones, a modern stone-age family from the town of Bedrock. They're a page right out of history.”
Nogales went on to say that the arrest of the Jetson Gang will be accompanied by a raid on Spacely Sprockets which will result in the deportation of several other time travellers who, in Officer Nogales' words “illegaly sought the Temporal Dream.” Nogales did not divulge further details citing temporal paradox and the difficulty of the grammar.
The Jetson Gang will face heavy charges and several years in cryostasis if they're convicted. The Simpson house will be permanently temporally isolated, preventing ingress or egress via timejump. The Flintstones, in addition to facing illegal temporal immigration charges, are also expected to meet with U.S. Immigration and Naturalization officials to determine their status. Recent scholarship in the field of plate tectonics indicates that Bedrock is now located somewhere south of Tiajuana, and an Immigration and Naturalization agent, who asked not be identified because his last name is Vishwarannati, said that I.N.S. lawyers believe that makes Fred, Wilma, and their daughter Pebbles undocumented Mexican nationals. "We're also concerned about the fact that most people, when they're with the Flintstones, will have a gay old time. There may be a Democratic Congress, but they've been busy watching bowl games so we still have laws in this country. "
Reached for comment on the campaign trail, Colorado representative Tom Tancredo, drawing on his own family's immigrant experience, expressed sympathy for the plight of the cartoon characters. “Give 'em a Saddam Necktie!” a source quotes Tancredo as saying. Ironically named Carlos Espinosa, spokespinner for the Tancredo Presidential Exploratory Committee, assured members of the Iowa press that what Tancredo meant was that the Flintstones should be given proper attire for their court appearance. “We all know it is better to look good than to feel good, and may I say you look marvelous?”
The Jetsons, Flintstones, and Simpsons were all unavailable for comment.
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