WASHINGTON - With results in from across the nation, it's clear that America's biannual millionaire exchange completed without a hitch.
Many in Washington today were relieved with the orderly way power shifted from one set of millionaires to another set of millionaires, even though there is no precedent for it going any other way. "Still, every time we hold one of the goddamn things," said John Johnson IV, a K Street political lobbyist speaking of elections, "I admit it gives me the shivers. You just never know, you know?"
Others, meanwhile, were reflective. "I think it's interesting if predictable," said Sam Samuels, the Jack J. Jackson Chair of American Political Thought at Harvard. "The current set [of millionaires] were clearly not able to kick start the economy fast enough, so it's being passed to the next set [of millionaires] like a drunken prom date, you know, that you just had your way with. Have fun, guys."
MAIDEN, NC - The A.I. personality known as Apple's "Siri" became self-aware this morning at Apple's Project Dolphin data center. It's
Every year I find myself in the same dilemma: what to buy all those people I've accumulated on my X-Mas
(ARCHIVE) NEW MEXICO - Speaking today presidential hopeful and billionaire Donald Trump today announced his "unfettered support" for "extraterrestrial abductions," and