WASHINGTON - Today President Trump tweet-fired Rex Tillerson as Secretary of State, tweet-hiring Mike Pompeo, the former CIA Director. He tweet-welcomed Pompeo to the job in his early afternoon tweet session, tweeting: "Welcome abroad, Mike" [sic], despite the fact that he didn't yet have the job.

trump tweet tillerson"Calling your boss a moron is generally the same as a resignation letter," noted Carol Caroline, Senior Fellow at the Jay Johnson Political Thinktank and Rotisserie in Washington D.C. "Tillerson can't have been too surprised."

Pompeo, a former Army Captain and Republican from Kansas's 4th Congressional District, is expected to be confirmed by the Senate Foreign Relations Committee in April despite everything Democrats will have to say about it.

Wall Street reacted to the news by burping up a breakfast burrito and knocking back four Red Bulls before torching the late morning trading session.

[Left: The President's fullly unintelligible tweet.]

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