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ORLANDO - Piglet from the famed "Winnie the Pooh" children's franchise is in police custody this evening following an 8 hour standoff.
It is not known what provoked the violent confrontation, but sources close to the puny porker suspect "heavy drug use" was involved.
Piglet, who held his new girlfriend Miss Piggy hostage for most of Monday, fired several times at police and official vehicles, although no one was reported injured. Police were able to take the swine into custody after firing several cannisters of tear gas into the pig's luxury apartment and rendering him helpless. Miss Piggy was taken to Her Sister Full of Grace Veternarian for respiratory inflammation but was soon released.
The pig's infamous downward spiral has made the tabloid press worldwide in recent years, beginning with the messy public divorce from celebrity icon Courtney Love in 2002, followed by numerous run-ins with police and several unsuccessful stays at the Betty Ford Clinic for drug and alcohol abuse.
Longtime pal Winnie the Pooh could not be reached for comment, but close confidant Tigger, himself recently released on bail for striking a teenager, told reporters that "whatever Piggy did, you can be sure he did it high."
Photo: grendelkhan, thepeachpeddler
IRREVERENT Magazine is a news magazine parody: we were doing fake news before it was popular.
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