WASHINGTON D.C. — Jackhammers echoed through the National Mall this morning as a crew of contractors continued the systematic removal of Abraham Lincoln's face from the Lincoln Memorial, marking phase one of what the Interior Department is
...WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what campaign observers are declining to characterize at all, President Donald Trump formally endorsed the Vial of Pure Evil for the contested Senate seat currently held by retiring moderate Republican James Williamson. The
...WASHINGTON D.C. — In a sweeping 9-0 decision issued Monday morning, the United States Supreme Court unanimously ruled that all forms of cash, securities, real estate, luxury goods, and financial instruments gifted to current and former Supreme
...HAVANA — The Cuban Communist Party's Political Bureau recently approved an emergency economic package that introduces unprecedented free-market measures to an island economy that has operated under central planning since 1959, raising a critical
...INVERNESS, SCOTLAND — Today, six researchers who refer to themselves as "crypto-zoologists" declared their eighteen-month investigation to uncover the Loch Ness monster "officially and permanently over," and their results "nothing short of
...TEHRAN/WASHINGTON — The Strait of Hormuz, through which roughly one-fifth of the world's petroleum supply transits daily and upon which the global economy depends with the desperation of a junkie on Tuesday morning, has turned a vivid, almost
...WASHINGTON — The State Department on Thursday released a 14-page Frequently Asked Questions document addressing what it described as "unprecedented inbound interest" from foreign capitals following the recently executed Memorandum of
...WASHINGTON D.C. — In a landmark development that sent shockwaves through Middle Eastern diplomacy and the global shipping industry, the United States and Iran announced a framework agreement to reopen the Strait of Hormuz on Tuesday, ending a
...PALO ALTO — SpaceX announced Monday its acquisition of VibeLaunch, a San Francisco-based artificial intelligence company, for $60 billion in cash and equity. The deal, completed just days after SpaceX's blockbuster initial public offering,
...ARLINGTON, VA — The U.S. Central Command has unveiled its latest breakthrough in proportional killing: the PropCalc 3000™, a cloud-based AI that assigns Yelp-style star ratings to military targets and recommends "calibrated"
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