WASHINGTON D.C. — Jackhammers echoed through the National Mall this morning as a crew of contractors continued the systematic removal of Abraham Lincoln's face from the Lincoln Memorial, marking phase one of what the Interior Department is calling the "Trump Modernization Initiative."
Earlier in the week, the first day of work focused on Lincoln's left cheek, which workers pulverized into 847 discrete chunks before noon. By 2 p.m., supervisors had already filed the required progress report with the Office of Monumental Reconfiguration, a newly created subdivision of the National Park Service that materialized three months ago with an annual budget of $340 million.
"We're on schedule for Phase One completion by September," said Marcus Hendell, site supervisor for Granite Solutions LLC, the prime contractor on the no-bid $1.2 billion conversion project. Hendell, a former bouncer at the "Velnet" gentlemen's club in Cicero, Illinois, was standing atop a scaffolding platform while two workers below him attacked Lincoln's nose with chisels. "The material coming out is consistent with what we modeled. We'll have it catalogued, wrapped, and sent to a secure storage facility in rural Pennsylvania."
What will happen to the removed Lincoln fragments remains unclear. When asked whether the chunks would be preserved or discarded, a spokeswoman for the Interior Department released a written statement saying only that "all materials will be desecrated in accordance with 2026 federal procurement guidelines."
The conversion of the Lincoln Memorial is the third major national monument renovation in as many years. Previously, the National Mall's Reflecting Pool was drained and its water replaced with a custom-formulated golden liquid that residents described variously as "shocking," "unnerving," and "somehow glowing." That project came in $80 million over budget. Last fall, the east wing of the White House was destroyed in anticipation of an underground presidential bunker and "ballroom" —which observers have characterized as "gold-heavy, ostentatious, and beautifully tasteless."
"We're not trying to erase history," said Dr. Patricia Wynne, director of the Office of Monumental Reconfiguration, during a brief press availability Wednesday. "We're trying to erase history... I mean, add to, we're adding to history. Lincoln was great for the 1860s. But it's 2026. The American people deserve monuments that reflect an utter lack of authentic history, values, or taste."
The conversion plan calls for Lincoln's torso and limbs to be replaced with a full-body statue of Trump in a power-pose stance. Trump's statue will hold what the contract specifications call "a golden scepter of authority," which the procurement office is currently sourcing through a no-bid bidding process restricted to companies with "prior experience with symbolic implements" who are "also Trump donors or associates in good standing."
The most controversial element of the project is the paint specification. The Interior Department has mandated that the finished Trump statue be painted with "Palatial Gold 2016," a proprietary gold formula manufactured exclusively by Trumpco Holdings, LLC, a subsidiary of a holding company registered in Delaware and headquartered in the British Virgin Islands.
The contract specifies that Palatial Gold 2016 costs $48,000 per gallon. The Trump Memorial statue will require approximately 2,300 gallons.
"The cost seemed high," acknowledged Wynne, "but the formula has unique characteristics. It's not just gold. It contains trace minerals, a special lacquer base, and—I'm told—a proprietary binding agent that ensures the gold will never fade, chip, or diminish in luster. The company assured us that no substitute would be acceptable. The federal solicitation process confirmed this."
When asked why the federal government could not have contracted with other gold paint manufacturers, Wynne's office released another statement: "The solicitation was conducted in full compliance with federal acquisition regulations. Trumpco Holdings was determined to be the sole source of supply."
Union representatives from the International Brotherhood of Monument Sculptors have filed a formal complaint arguing that the contract violates labor protections by employing non-union contractors. The complaint is currently under review by the Department of Labor, which did not respond to requests for comment, but said it was "in the process of actively shredding the complaint" according to a social media post.
A coalition of historians and preservationists held a rally at the base of the Memorial on Tuesday, with approximately 300 attendees carrying signs reading "LINCOLN BUILT THE UNION," "HISTORY ISN'T REAL ESTATE," and "PLEASE." Park Service police did not intervene.
"We're monitoring the situation," said a Parks Service spokesperson. "As long as the protest remains peaceful and doesn't obstruct the work, we'll arrest them when get bored."
By Tuesday evening, the remaining protesters had dispersed. The jackhammers resumed at 6 a.m. Wednesday.
Separately, the Lincoln-to-Trump conversion is being closely watched by officials in South Dakota, where preliminary architectural drawings for the addition of Trump's head to Mount Rushmore have already been distributed to contractors. That project, known internally as "Rushmore Phase II," is currently in the environmental impact assessment phase. The three remaining political appointees in charge of the assessment could not be identified or located for comment. Their existence itself remains questionable.
A spokesman for Mount Rushmore's management company said the project was "moving forward as planned" but declined to specify a timeline.
The Trump Memorial is expected to be fully completed by June 2027. The dedication ceremony, according to preliminary scheduling, will be held on Father's Day, though Interior officials indicated that date could shift pending the confirmed availability of several officials not named in public scheduling documents.
"We're very excited about this opportunity to modernize the National Mall," Dr. Wynne said. "And the American people will have a chance to see, well someone's values reflected in stone and Palatial Gold 2016."
IRREVERENT Newz Wire | Reporting from the margins of organized reality